Sunday, February 19, 2006

Sabbath silliness

In another fine example of a religion inspiring utterly moronic behavior, Orthodox Jews in San Diego want the community to let them contruct a miles-long overhead boundary marker of fishing line so they can avail themselves of a dogmatic loophole in their already ridiculous sabbath restrictions. Seems you can't hold an umbrella over your head in the rain on Saturday, since that qualifies as "work." But it's okay to do so in your house. If it's raining in your house. (My grandmother always said never to open an umbrella inside, but she wasn't Jewish, so what does she know?)

So in the fine Judaic tradition of playing semantic games with G-d, they want to string all their houses together so the neighborhood qualifies as one gigantic house. I can see the big ranger in the sky smacking his holy head in frustration: "Drat! They figured out a way around the umbrella rule!" Anyway, it looks like they'll have to come up with another solution, since the community's gentiles have put the kibosh on the big monofilament macrame. Maybe they could put together a volunteer goyim umbrella-carrying force.

You have to give some credit to the Orthodox Jewish community, however. They've restrained themselves from burning cars or beheading anyone over this affront to their faith.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

you think you're funny?
i'd like to warn you to be very careful with what you say because, someone might not handle it as well as most jews do and you might have a lawsuit coming you're way.

12:50 PM  
Blogger tompain said...

I guess I'm more funny than timely. Sue me for what? This ain't Canada, eh?

1:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, be VERY careful what you say; God CAN see what you say about him. He is not some "big ranger" and he can kill you without breaking a slight sweat. I would be VERY careful if I was you.

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes, I think that you should be careful, too. Take back every abomination you said about my Hero. NOW.

6:12 PM  

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